By Kyle Brady
The List I Probably Shouldn’t Share
The wind in your hair, the allure of the unknown, and the romantic idea of taking your home wherever you go. That’s what we envisioned when my wife and I decided to embrace the RV life. Little did I know that our RV had other plans—specifically, plans to kill me. Repeatedly.
But hey, if you can’t laugh at your own near-death experiences, what’s the point?
So fill up the tank (seriously, you might need to), and join me on this rollercoaster ride of hilarity and hazard as I recount the ten times our RV tried to off us, but I just couldn’t stop laughing.
1. The Awning Ambush
It all started on a sunny afternoon at a picturesque campsite. Birds were chirping, and I thought, “What a perfect day to enjoy the shade under my awning!” I hit the switch, and the awning began to extend gracefully.
Suddenly, with a loud snap, one of the supports gave way, and the awning came crashing down like a poorly constructed tent.
I dove out of the way just in time, landing unceremoniously in a mud puddle. My neighbor peeked over, coffee mug in hand, and said, “First time with the awning, huh?” We both burst into laughter. Note to self: always check for rogue squirrels gnawing on support beams.
Fun Tip: Always make a habit of inspecting your awning before use. Check for signs of wear and tear, loose bolts, or any critters that might have taken up residence. Regular maintenance can prevent unexpected collapses and keep your awning in top shape. Remember, an awning in good condition not only provides shade but also keeps the slapstick comedy to a minimum!
And, never leave the awning out when you leave your RV!
Pro Tip: How to Fix a Sagging RV Awning
2. The Great Brake Failure
There’s nothing quite like the feeling of your brakes giving out while descending a steep mountain road. One moment, I’m admiring the breathtaking scenery; the next, I’m living an action movie without a stunt double. On a steep Colorado decent, no less.
As the RV gained speed, I remembered an old driver’s ed tip: pump the brakes. Miraculously, it worked, and I coasted onto the side of a busy interstate. Covered in gravel and shaking like a leaf, I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically. “Well, that’s one way to make an entrance,” I thought. And, it happened within our first week on our 4-year RV adventure.
Safety Tip: When navigating steep declines, use engine braking by shifting to a lower gear. This reduces strain on your brakes and helps prevent overheating. Regular brake inspections are crucial—experts recommend checking them at least once a year or every 12,000 miles. A little preventative maintenance can keep your RV from turning into a runaway roller coaster.
PRO TIPS: How Do You Check RV Brakes?
3. The Propane Predicament
Cooking dinner should be a safe, mundane activity. Unless you’re me. I decided to grill some burgers using the RV’s propane system. As I ignited the grill, a fireball whooshed out, singeing my eyebrows and giving me an impromptu facial peel.
After patting down the remnants of my dignity, I looked at the manual. “Warning: Check for leaks before lighting.” Whoops! At least I saved money on that spa treatment I never wanted.
Important Fact: Propane systems require regular inspections to ensure safety. Before lighting up, perform a simple leak test by applying soapy water to the connections—bubbles indicate a leak that needs attention. Also, consider installing a propane gas detector in your RV for added safety. It’s a small investment that can prevent big explosions (and save your eyebrows).
PRO TIP: When Is RV Propane Dangerous?
4. The Tire Blowout Bonanza
Picture this: cruising down the highway, windows down, tunes blasting. Life is good. Suddenly, a loud bang jolts me out of my bliss. The RV swerves violently as I grip the wheel for dear life. A tire had decided to end its journey prematurely.
I managed to pull over safely. As I inspected the shredded tire, a state trooper pulled up behind me. “Looks like you had a bit of excitement,” he said with a grin. “You could say that,” I replied, chuckling. After changing the tire, I kept the blown-out one as a memento. It now serves as a coffee table—a constant reminder of life’s unexpected twists (not really, just a DIY fantasy).
Did You Know?: Proper tire maintenance is vital for safe RV travel. Regularly check your tire pressure and tread depth, and don’t forget to inspect for signs of aging or damage. RV tires often age out before they wear out, so replacing them every 5-7 years, regardless of mileage, is recommended. A tire pressure monitoring system (TPMS) can also alert you to issues before they become explosive problems.
PRO TIP: WARNING: Beware of ‘China Bomb’ RV Tires
5. The Toilet Turmoil
Using the restroom is a basic human right—or so I thought until my RV’s toilet had other ideas. One day, it decided to become a bidet. A clog caused the contents to erupt like Old Faithful, spraying water (and other things) everywhere.
I stood there, soaked and stunned, before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. “Well, that’s one way to clean the floors!” I quipped. Several rolls of paper towels later, I added “plumbing expert” to my growing list of unintended skills.
I also did this once while standing up, I got to watch the whole show from the front row.
Pro Tip: RV toilets are sensitive systems that require special care. Use RV-friendly toilet paper that dissolves quickly to prevent clogs. Regularly treat your black water tank with enzyme-based chemicals to break down waste and reduce odors. A little attention to your RV’s plumbing can save you from a messy situation and keep everything flowing smoothly.
KEEP IN MIND: The RV Poop Pyramid Nightmare is Easily Avoidable
6. The Slide-Out Slam
RV slide-outs are fantastic for extra space but can be hazardous for the forgetful. Late one night, I ventured outside to stargaze. Mesmerized by the Milky Way, I walked straight into the extended slide-out, smacking my forehead with a resounding thud.
Stars of a different kind danced before my eyes as I stumbled backward. Rubbing the growing bump on my head, I couldn’t help but laugh at my own absentmindedness. From then on, I considered wearing a hard hat for nocturnal excursions.
Fun Fact: To prevent nighttime collisions with slide-outs, consider adding reflective tape or LED lights to the edges. Some RVers even use pool noodles on the corners for added visibility and cushioning. It’s a simple and affordable way to protect yourself (and others) from unexpected headbutts with your RV.
PRO TIP: DEBATE: RV Slides In or Out When Stored?
7. The Electrical Escapade
Feeling confident in my DIY abilities, I decided to fix a faulty electrical outlet. Armed with a screwdriver and bravado, I forgot the cardinal rule: turn off the power. As I touched the wire, a jolt of electricity shot up my arm, causing me to yelp and drop the screwdriver.
FYI…Never travel without RV Fuses (they’re so cheap).
My hair stood on end like a cartoon character. “Well, that’s one way to get a buzz,” I joked to myself. After flipping the breaker (and regaining my composure), I finished the repair without further electrocutions.
Safety Reminder: Always disconnect the power source before attempting electrical repairs. This includes unplugging from shore power and turning off your inverter and battery disconnect switch. If you’re not comfortable with electrical work, it’s wise to consult a professional. Electricity is unforgiving, and safety should always come first.
PRO TIP: RV Hacks 101: Why a Multimeter is Your New BFF
8. The Hitch Hitch
Hooking up the RV to my truck should be straightforward, but my RV had a penchant for slapstick comedy. As I was aligning the hitch, the RV rolled slightly, causing the hitch to swing upward and nearly smack me right in the chin.
I staggered back, looking for imaginary birds circling my head. A passerby asked if I was okay. “Just testing the durability of my jaw,” I replied with a grin. Needless to say, wheel chocks became my new best friend.
Helpful Tip: Always use wheel chocks when hitching or unhitching your RV to prevent any movement. Engage the parking brake as an added precaution. For easier alignment, consider using a hitch alignment tool or backup camera. These small steps can make the process safer and save you from unexpected injuries.
PRO TIP: DISPUTE: Greasing Ball Hitch When Towing?
9. The Refrigerator Fiasco
On a hot summer day, I opened the RV’s fridge to grab a cold drink. Unbeknownst to me, the contents had shifted during travel. An avalanche of condiments and leftovers cascaded out, including a jar of pickles that narrowly missed my foot, and a whole pot of leftover soup came spilling out.
As I stood in a puddle of pickle juice and soup, I laughed so hard I cried. Cleaning up the mess, I couldn’t help but think that the RV was simply reminding me to secure items properly. Touché, RV, touché.
Did You Know?: To prevent fridge avalanches, use tension rods or fridge bars to keep items in place during transit. Storing heavier items at the bottom and using non-slip liners can also help. Not only does this prevent messes, but it also helps your fridge run more efficiently by allowing proper air circulation. A well-organized fridge is a happy fridge!
PRO TIP: Compact and Cozy: The 5 Best Pop-Up Campers
10. The Final (Literal) Step
Exiting the RV should be simple, but mine had a hidden agenda. The retractable step had malfunctioned, remaining extended without my knowledge. As I pulled away from the campsite, I heard a horrendous scraping noise. The step caught on a tree stump, causing the RV to jolt violently.
I slammed on the brakes and jumped out to assess the damage. The step was almost mangled beyond recognition. I stared at it for a moment before bursting into laughter. “Well, I guess the RV wanted a souvenir,” I mused.
Maintenance Tip: Regularly inspect your retractable steps for proper operation. Lubricate moving parts and check for any signs of wear or damage. Incorporate a pre-departure walk-around into your routine to catch issues like this before hitting the road. A simple check can save you from costly repairs and keep your RV’s steps in tip-top shape.
PRO TIP: MorRyde RV Steps for Airstreams
Don’t Let Your RV Try to Kill Me (or You)!
Despite my RV’s numerous attempts on my life, I can’t help but love the darn thing. Each mishap turned into a hilarious story, adding spice to my nomadic lifestyle. The open road is full of surprises—some dangerous, some ridiculous, but all part of the grand adventure.
So, if you’re considering the RV life, remember: it’s not just a mode of transportation; it’s a comedy partner in crime. Embrace the chaos, laugh at the disasters, and always keep a toolbox (and first-aid kit) handy.
After all, what’s life without a few near-death experiences to keep things interesting?
About the Author
Kyle Brady of Drivin’ & Vibin’ is an intrepid traveler, accidental comedian, and survivor of countless RV-related mishaps. When not dodging his RV’s murder attempts, he enjoys sharing his hilarious adventures to entertain and caution fellow road warriors.
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